Three Hots And A Cot

A convicted murderer on death row in North Carolina wrote a taunting letter to his hometown newspaper about his life of "leisure" in prison and making a mockery of the legal system. Danny Robbie Hembree Jr. was found guilty of murdering 17-year-old Heather Catterton in 2009 and was sentenced to death on Nov. 18, 2011. Hembree, 50, is on death row at Central Prison in Raleigh, N.C., but he's not looking for any pity in the letter he sent to The Gaston Gazette.

"Is the public aware that I am a gentleman of leisure, watching color TV in the A.C., reading, taking naps at will, eating three well balanced hot meals a day," Hembree asked in the letter. "I'm housed in a building that connects to the new 55 million dollar hospital with round the clock free medical care 24/7."

Dante: First off, you know how I feel about prisons and the death penalty. This guy shouldn’t even be allowed to communicate with people let alone writing “Neener neener neener!” letters. Why is this asshat living a better life than my non-killing people ass? He gets three hot meals a day? I had one! He’s already halfway dead. I say take him out now.

Camille: I really had to try and hold myself back from psychoanalyzing this dude, because after I read all the excerpts from his letter I classified him as one of those school bullies that got molested so they took out their anger by treating others like crap. But I quickly got over that. I don't agree with taking him out now. This is a perfect opportunity to start stumping on the Camille Punishment System, again. To quote myself from a 2008 blog entry: If you could enact any new law, what would it be?

"I'd abolish the death penalty first. then I'd change the punishment of crimes to include licks and/or hard labor. Yes folks, everyone who was affected by the crime you committed would get a chance to take a swing (with their choice of an oak or aluminum paddle) at your big criminal ass. And then after you've got all your licks, you'd be set to hard labor, working on the physical infrastructure of cities around the U.S. you'd be repairing streets, securing levees, removing high-radiation materials and asbestos from residential neighborhoods. See how fast the crime rate drops."

And I'm really surprised more people aren't committing more crimes to get a chance to live on the rock candy mountain that is our prison system. As long as you get sentenced anywhere, but California, you're set for life, depending on your sentence. Hell, his letter (and all the subsequent publicity) is like a big fat vacation getaway advertisement: TV, air-conditioning, library-without late fees, 3 nutritious meals and "round the clock free medical care."

Dante: I know that sometimes its hard not to attach the old “He was treated like crap so he treats the world like crap” view when thinking of people like this. But then I look at the lives of my friends and myself and I think “I socially have the right to be a total asshole!” But I’m not because its just…wrong to be an asshole. 


I love your punishment plan by the way. I would love to see prisoners cleaning the streets and helping to rebuild places. Drug dealers helping fix the same neighborhoods that they destroyed. But starting with a good ass whipping from victims would be great! If we read a report with this same story and at the end it said “He was not able to sit for days and cleaning the city didn’t help” I would love it. Should he be punished for even saying this nonsense?

Camille: In my system, he wouldn't have been able to write the letter his arms, hands and fingers will be so tired, but I'll assume you mean under current conditions, and in that case, I don't know. Maybe this letter will be a catalyst and people will rise up in disgust of our system of punishment. Ha! I make myself laugh!

Really, it doesn't mean anything. You know this is just a sensational article about a sensational letter and it will all disappear in a day or two.

Dante: I wish this was the kinda thing that would set people off and storm prisons and change the way shit is run. But yeah. Nothing will happen to this asshole and he’s gonna end up dying of old age or some disease before he sets foot in a gas chamber. But…


In my prison this guy would forget that he was human after a few days. Yes, people are against torture. I’m not one of those people. I’m against torture that is lied about. I’d be very open about it. “Yes. I did beat him as soon as he fell asleep. No, I wont apologize for it.”

Camille: Oops! I already forgot what we were talking about. Have I mentioned Tom Hardy today?

Dante: No, you have not mentioned Tom Hardy today. But I'd understand if you did. That is a pretty awesome ass guy. I was just talking about him late last night...wow. That sounds so...yeah. But I was. I'm not afraid to admit that he's a pretty good looking guy. If I had a few Appletini's in me I'd let him put it on my shoulder.