|Best Actress of 2012...?|
From what I gathered from watching The Help all it takes to get a nomination for the Oscar’s is pie. Chocolate pie specifically. Now, I know that this site isn’t about movie reviews. I do that over on Dante Rants. But Camille and I watched a couple of movies that people have been raving about and I must say, we’re disappointed.
|Shitting in pies makes people happy.|
Camille has read The Help and listened to the audio book. so she knew the story going in. I thought it was about two girls raised together by these servants but one of them grew up to be a totally racist bitch. That was not the case and I’m not gonna explain what the movie is about. Needless to say Black people got fucked over.
|"'Shit eating grin!' Get it?!"|
Now, as much as I love Viola Davis her performance in this movie was…okay. Everyone was okay. No one did anything that really stood out to me. People were either helpless, ignorant, or mean as hell. Camille mentioned a lot of glaring omissions from the movie which completely changed the tone of the movie. One thing I did get from the movie was that shitting in chocolate pie ruins lives.
|Shit pie causes indigestion.|
This movie was so much about that chocolate pie. I haven’t seen a movie that focused on pastry this much since American Pie. Seriously, that pie became the focus of the film way too much. Relationships happened in fast forward, there were miscarriages, people were treated like animal, and folks were losing their jobs. I don’t know how their lives ended up but I can tell you the entire story of that damned pie.
|One of eight versions of her in the movie.|
Now on to Meryl Streep and her role in The Iron Lady. There was no robot suit which was totally disappointing. I don’t know much about history. Just the random crap that catches my imagination. But even as I watched this movie I knew that a lot of stuff was being left out so that they could focus on Margaret Thatcher hallucinating.
As I watched the movie I kept saying to Camille “Wow, this is an unlikable woman!” I don’t know much about Thatcher but I do know that she was not well liked. This movie seemed to try and make her this relatable and sad character. Which she wasn’t. And the scene where her husband walks into the bright light…yeah. Camille was yanked right out of the film at that point.
|"I'd like to thank God..."|
In closing, I just want all the ladies out there to know that if you want to be a world renowned star, stop fucking around with acting lessons because at the end of the day, a film that is being paraded as one of the best films of the year, you will be outshined by a goddamn piece of pie.